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If you feel alone in your relationship, something is not right. In fact, something is very, very wrong because the definition of a relationship is a connection between two people where there is a regular, ongoing exchange of thoughts, feelings and experiences. Not so when you are in a relationship with a narcissist. In this video, Dr. Hawkins gives you three signs that you might be in a relationship with a narcissist. When you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, everything is all about them – their life is all important while your life is at best unimportant , and at worst, non-existent.
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Dr. Hawkins and his team of experts offer education and professional training as well as treatment for narcissistic and emotional abuse.
🌐 WEBSITE: https://marriagerecoverycenter.com/
☎️ PHONE: (206) 219-0145
📧 EMAIL: info@marriagerecoverycenter.com
About
The internet is inundated with hyperbole and misinformation about narcissism, leaving many people confused and hopeless. Get the facts about narcissism and emotional abuse from someone who has been researching, writing about and treating narcissism and emotional abuse for over a decade.
Dr. Hawkins is a best-selling author and clinical psychologist with over three decades of experience helping people break unhealthy patterns and build healthier relationships. He is the founder and director of the Marriage Recovery Center and the Emotional Abuse Institute which offers education, training and counseling for people who want to break free of, and heal from, emotional abuse.
Whether the perpetrator of the abuse is your spouse, partner, parent, boss, friend or family member, we offer practical advice for anyone trapped in a toxic, destructive relationship. In addition to narcissism & emotional abuse, topics include covert, reactive, spiritual, secondary, relationship trauma and more.
#narcissism #narcissist #narcissistic
Revenge is not possible bec 8 could never treat him like he has me. Abusive narcissistic that blames me for nothing and lives ti call my mom.
I could teach a class on a narcissistic boyfriend who shouldn't be in a narcissistic level when it comes to be high society
When you care about your covert boyfriend you get so Lonely , you'll go take him something to drink after he has treated you like trash , just to see him
You left out they watch porn or cheat and don't even hold your hand open your door but record you after they have hit you
They tell you how to speak to them, because if you knew the magical formula on how to approach an issue or request – big or small – then they wouldn't erupt it into an argument. Messed up thing is, no matter HOW much you change your communication, they always move the goal posts.
I told him the other day I have blood running through my body and that I matter. He never asks me how's my day. Thank you for these videos.
I can’t express my feelings cuz it turns into an argument and I rather just not share them now what’s the point. I don’t express my opinions any more either. I also don’t ask questions cuz I was told I ask too many all the time. And why do I always have to question everything. I feel crazy and at times I wonder if I’m the narcissist. Cuz I pull away now by trying to emotionally distance myself. And act like I don’t care.
Well said! Loneliness for years is hard to deal with.
They will crap on every one of these recommendations. The only thing to do is leave, quietly. Trying to work things out with these freaks is akin to slamming your head into a Brick wall, pointless, useless, and it only hurts you!
YES, this has been going on for a while- Id say about 10 years- I just learned about 2 years ago from all this SM that he has Narcissist issues- However, remember he is also a Functional Alcoholic- and he is embedded in SPORTS/ Drinking/ and SM- I was soooo busy over the years Working FULL TIME in a Professional JOB (still am) and raising kids- whom are now highschool and college- I lately have learned more- But I did know he was functional Alcoholic- However, he comes from a family- his mom and dad ended marrage in 40s- Dad Alcoholic and still is at 75- lets see my parents married whole- no alcohol issues- although I lost my dad in 2013 and this had made mom very depresssed not same person- but I am the only one whom is researching- trying to cope and I tell ya these videos has helped me KNOW that there is a problem- Now are marriage- I sleep in another room have for years- I use to ask him to sleep in the bed with me and I am TIRED of asking as well as I use to ask him to schedule time for us a dinner monthly ect. Im no longer interested in asking- soo much more too long to type
Everything they once loved about you, they hate. They treat you like someone who needs to worship them. They try to control your thoughts, emotions and life. They make you physically sick.
Your life is unimportant, but theirs is definitely is…🙄
Helpful Ways to Contextualize the Distress/Discomfort
I can relate with everything Dr Hawkins has said. I need to think hard about my future!
Don't waste your time sharing your feelings with the narc. Don't try to appeal to their logic or make a request. You are talking to the wall. I had to do what he did and that was make threats. It helped the situation be more manageable until I could leave. 😊
is it normal for normal people to stop caring about narc's lives because of all the indifference, neglect and darvo?
I appreciate your (Dr Hawkins) synonym for a narcissist "or a very selfish individual". That would also be a Biblical description for the sin. There is usually a cluster of associated sins beginning with pride and idolatry of self which will compound into other unloving and unkind sins that can appear as apathy, vengeance, repaying evil for evil… just all sorts of manipulative behavior… the bad kind of manipulation. Sadly, I struggle and battle with this every day in myself, and it is the power of the Holy Spirit and His love that enables me to make choices to love and think of others and to sacrifice my desires for the desires of others.
Unwillingness to forgive is also a sin and very selfish because forgiveness is absorbing the loss of a harm against property, person,, or reputation. Jesus said if we don't forgive, then the Father will not forgive us. This is one of the heaviest verses for me right now because I'm struggling with forgiving and letting God handle the "justice" and vengeance. Sometimes, I don't want to wait on God. Sometimes, I want to handle it myself. It's usually sinful to do so.
If we can't forgive then I think that would be evidence that we are not a Christian. And, the non Christian just can't seem to sustain change or victory over sin because they are the "lord of their life"….they do not submit to God or anyone else…. they are the top priority concerning every area of life… even over God Himself, so of course, a spouse or other family member will always be second, third, etc…. So, the solution is the Gospel, and the power of the Holy Spirit to love others will manifest the fruits of the Spirit…. love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control. This is the evidence of love and the positive energy the selfish person lacks.
Love truly is the answer for everyone… including the narcissist. They might fake it for a while, but without God, it just won't last.
30 years of being married to a narcissist. I should have seen the sign just 6 months into Our relationship and living together. I was so Alone that I attempted suicide and he never came to see Me in the hospital. I tried to commit suicide 4 x in the first 2 years of our marriage and he never asked Me why I was so depressed and wanted to die. Red flags were everywhere, but I had no idea until I came to Christ 2 years ago. God opened My eyes to the abuse physically and emotionally. I sought counsel from My Pastor and he said that if he wasn't willing to go to counseling and work on Our marriage, He told Me God doesn't want this abuse to continue. My body is a Temple of God. My husband is a Porn addict, alcoholic and drug user. He is 71 now and he refuses to change anything to make it work. So, he is finally gone and I have never felt so free and Satan has left My house and My life Forever. We don't deserve to be treated like this and God doesn't want Us to be hurting and abused. I know God will forgive Me for divorcing him. I am a child of God and I deserve to be treated with respect. I'm so grateful for All God has done in My life. My husband is over 2k miles away, but he is still texting Me and sexually harassing Me. I've got to get moving and get the Divorce finalized so I can Block him Forever. He has turned Everyone against Me. But I have Jesus and he doesn't believe in God.
Thanks for this video 🙌🙏💖
Best to all who are invisible. I was for 30 years. 💔 😐
Thank you Dr Hawkins.
My requests for change go unheard. He doesn’t care, bottomline.
Praise God for your work! I have listened to many Youtube videos to figure out how to understand and deal with narcissism, but some of the people sounded themselves to be narcissistic counseling me to behave like a narcissist. For example, they would say that if the person you are dealing with is a narcissist, then what you would need to do is to effectively ghost, discard, manipulate etc. them in return. I even had difficulty labeling the person as a narcissist because they don’t seem to be 100% beyond hope, 100% narcissistic in all their motives, or that they even fit into every narcissistic trait. The person definitely has some of the traits but does not seem to have others. At least I am giving them the benefit of the doubt at this point. Anyway, it is refreshing to hear not only that there is hope but also that there is an effective and righteous/biblical way to respond to someone who is being narcissistic that can potentially help them heal and help me not stay fooled by their manipulative tactics. I am no longer puzzled by their behavior/tactics, I am finally past being derailed by the hurt they cause me, but now I need to stayed tuned to discerning to if what they are doing is or is not a narcissistic motive. I am still in the process of learning how to set biblical boundaries, and how I will need to go about doing the intervention.
My narc always asks how my day was
But would go months without even touching me, because I raised a concern
He stonewalls me emotionally, and I dare not bring the issue up again😢
I think asking about my day, could be projecting on his part , because I'm no longer interested in what he does, cos I'm on my way out
Planning my exit by end December 2023 God willing🙏
When there is no one left who can arbitrate and the person in not willing to even communicate and divorce is not an option as it would affect the children/ grandchildren who are oblivious of happenings – what can / should one do ? Please help