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Episode 13 of Mad.In.Love podcast
In this episode of Mad.In.Love, Dr. Hawkins sits down with Christian psychologist, author and podcast host Dr. Clarke to talk about his book Enough is Enough and why he believes it’s imperative that people in abusive relationships get out and away from the abuse first and foremost before anything else can happen. Dr. Clark also talks about why he believes churches have contributed to the problem of women staying in abusive marriages by mishandling or staying silent on this issue.
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Dr. Hawkins and his team of experts offer education and professional training as well as treatment for narcissistic and emotional abuse.
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Dr. Hawkins is a best-selling author and clinical psychologist with over three decades of experience helping people break unhealthy patterns and build healthier relationships. He is the founder and director of the Marriage Recovery Center and the Emotional Abuse Institute which offers education, training and counseling for people who want to break free of, and heal from, emotional abuse.
Whether the perpetrator of the abuse is your spouse, partner, parent, boss, friend or family member, we offer practical advice for anyone trapped in a toxic, destructive relationship. In addition to narcissism & emotional abuse, topics include covert, reactive, spiritual, secondary, relationship trauma and more.
#emotionalabuse #relationship #abusiverelationships
Many women can't get away because of individual poverty and the system is against the one with less resources. When kids are involved it is an enormous problem it's many times hard to get away. I speak from personal experience and loss…
This is abuse
This stuff really happens and is evil evil for sure.
I think I could help make a movie
Wow You are hitting stuff on the nail head over and over and over Damage
Wow I had that happen to me. Darvo Bad bad bad
Emotional abusive in the day and wanting to be intimate at night….spot on!
45:14 in my experience, a lot of pastors are narcissistic!
As a man in a marriage with a narcissistic wife I was sure looking for some help from a male perspective. Men suffer too not just women.
This type of abuse can be so painful.
I’ve been out 2 years, and I feel no relief, just destroyed.
‘Sometimes’, these men will finally go to therapy…when you separate…and do the work that they need to do…to stop being the abusive monsters that they are. But, in my experience…he only went to therapy long enough to convince the therapist that ‘I’ drove him to being the chronically critical, financially abusive, serial cheater that he was…and refused to go to any therapy to deal with his abusive nature. Therapy was beneath him. He just expected me to be compliant to his abuse, and stay with him…pretending ‘everything was fine’, even though…my health was deteriorating at an alarming rate. He could have cared less if I died. And, in fact, it felt like that’s exactly what he was hoping would happen. But he REFUSED to get a divorce. And when I finally filed for divorce…he spent three years being the most malicious, coercive, vindictive toddler…via the family law system…trying to leave me financially and mentally destroyed. He lied about everything. And before the divorce process even got going…he had his ‘replacement slave’, in place…in the family home…and was all set to do it all over again – with her. A monster…to the core.
I finally found your videos.
My husband died in our yard. I went to therapy and was feeling confident and knew my life would be different. Happy and make new friends. It was a little over a year, and I met Prince Charming in Tin Foil.
He was charming, kind, sweet spoken, caring… Everything a lady needs to feel loved.
We dated a few months (red flag), and he pushed for us to be together. I had bought a new double home and had it put on my I sister's land. Three months later, her husband told me to "get the f*** off of my land." I was moving some boxes to my shed, and he thought I told her I was moving away. He put his fist in my face and told me , "YOU NEED TO GET OVER THIS!"….My husband's death. I still cried a year later, and now I still cry 6 years later. So, I moved my home to Prince Charming's land.
As soon as my home was moved onto his land, he has his own cabin, but as s I on I moved to my house, he started with the ABUSE! I could not do that right. I was ignored. I was a ghost to his friends. I was a piece of s^*t that nobody loves. He told me my husband hated me, my dog hated me… Everyone hates you. I cried so much. I couldn't talk to him about hurtful things, happy things, good things….nothing. I was shattered. I talked to a Christian friend about this and…they went straight to him and told him what I said, that he was abusing me, emotionally, mentally and bodily. He gave me the wrath of he!! I got the silent treatment for weeks. I was dying of loneliness because, by this time, he had turned me family and everyone else against me. He had a huge smear campaign against me. I wanted to go to church and he refused to let me go. By this time, nothing mattered to me anymore. I didn't have the strength nor money to run.
I learned to walk with my head down. Walk on eggshells and do as I was told. I didn't talk. I didn't speak to anyone. I would lying and pet my puppy. She was dying of brain cancer , and I knew she knew she needed me.
My daughter will not speak to me. I am not allowed to see my 6 grandchildren. It's been 5 years since I saw them. There Are twins that she hid the pregnancy from me and gave birth to twin boys. I'll never meet them. She threatened to throw my grandson out if he ever spoke to me again.
He had been an alcoholic 20 years prior and he became a severe Alcoholic and I was afraid of him. He swore to me that he didn't drink, when I met him, and never had nor would. I get scared of him because he gets mean.
He comes to my house, 300 feet away, for one reason. I am ashamed and take a bath the scrub the nastiness off of me. I pray and pray for God to help me.
I had a mild heart attack one night, caused by him and when I called him he came to the hospital and literally, fell out of his vehicle so drunk that he couldn't get back up. I had to put him in the passenger seat and drove home in the fog and dark, which I can't see at night. I drove up, got out and left him sitting in his vehicle. I came in my house, locked the door and took nitroglycerin for my heart. The Paramedic told him he caused it because he told her that he was yelling at me.
Marriage counseling was a waste because the therapist was "a stupid woman".
There's just so much more…the women, the dating sites, the chats…that he was doing and denied all of it, even with me showing him screenshots. He said I was a liar.
I fought Spinal Cord Cancer and was given a year to live. I went from being a basic vegetable to speaking and walking again. I begged God to help me and he did.
There's so, so much more but…I have met the Devil. His eyes turn coal black in a Narcissistic rage and his face looked so contorted that it was hard to recognize him. It's awful.
I am saving to get my house off of his land and placing a restraining order on him.
He has his own bussiness and everyone thinks he is a God. He bad mouths me to his clients. Some are starting to see through him but he draws them right back again and I AM THE ABUSIVE ONE, AGAIN.
Prayering that God can help me soon. No one deserves to be treated like a sex slave.
God Bless y'all because this video let me open up and reach out….I cried too….
The saying that I always heard was, "Not all narcissists are psychopaths but all psychopaths are narcissists.
Studies have shown that narcissists are actually born with less gray matter in the brain and that part of the brain is where empathy begins to form in most children around the age of five. This would explain their lack of empathy, their childlike behavior, and lack of emotional maturity. It also explains why they are maladaptive and unable to change. As my dad always says, "You can't get blood from a turnip." I'm fortunate I was raised in a loving family, but I dated a narcissist, and it was an absolute nightmare. I think I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time when I met him, and I didn't even know what a narcissist was until I started Googling his strange behaviors.
What we need to also remember is that many women are just as emotionally abusive.
Not all narcs are charming. Research the fragile covert narc who is a miserable victim always complaining how life has mistreated them. Pathetic. Dr. Ramani and Prof. Sam Vaknin share a lot. Also Richard Grannon is also helpful to those who want more info and tips to healing. These people are sick and cruel but mostly broken miserable cowards.
23.22 20 year old sons I am invisible to them.
I’m that 50 year old woman
I remember praying “God make me a better person”. I was trying so hard to please him. Turns out it was never me!! Going on 2years for my exit from that chaos. In the end my prayer was answered, I am a better person WITHOUT HIM😊
Thank you Dr. Clarke for addressing this issue on abuse. I felt completely invisible to my sex addicted, so called Christian husband for 37 years. I finally ended up with cancer and got out of the marriage. For the first time, I feel free.
WE cannot change our husband's only GOD can do that. Pray and pray hard because God is your only hope and his only saving grace.
I know I can't change mine of 27 years because I have tried. Only through prayer have I seen some small but hopeful changes. This especially when I said I am leaving with or without him of he chooses to stay on the farm. But that could also be because he loves his money and doesn't want to part with half of his first love 😂
God help the woman with children who enters into a second marriage with the malignant narcissist. Every gift my adult children and grandchildren has been damaged or disappeared and every visit with my family rewarded with an indiscretion, some in my home.
He is a jealous b___ and I found out 17 years in when I retired and he was ready to discard me.
I love your voice dr david ❤. Easy to listen and absorb. Thanks for all of this help
Thank you Dr. Hawkins and Dr. Clark for this video. I cried through most of it, as it describes 31 years of my life. I sat on the couch, resting from my latest doctor's appointment for what has become chronic health problems. I never feel very well. I am 64. Your videos bring to light the covert narcissistic abuse I have endured for over 30 years. To be sure, not all the time but a pattern none the less. I am still here, counseled by our pastor to stay, not wanting to turn my family upside down, and continuing in hope my husband will change. i feel sorry for him. He seems so empty inside. Please address us empaths who want so badly to help our husbands but as Dr. Clark says, It doesn't work.
💯 agree, I am married to Narcissistic personality husband 40years,he end up in prison for his own doings, pastor encourage me in counselling session just submit,,my 4 grewup children are broken today due to abuse I went through for years
Thank you so much and please bring him back quickly!! Subscribed! He’s correct, God told me I should have left early from a previous situation, h we says I took too long and lost big time.
So many times this starts right after marriage and continues for years. After divorce from a man like this, how do you ever trust the charismatic man who seems great? I’m sure some are, but how do you know?