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There are often times in a relationship where you have to compromise, negotiate and be flexible, but trust is one of those areas where there is no room for compromise. When it comes to relationships, trust and honesty are an all or nothing deal. You can either trust someone 100%, or you can’t trust them. There is no in between. If you can only trust someone 90% of the time, you can’t trust them! In this video, Dr. Hawkins asks the question “Can a narcissist be trusted?” He talks about why dishonesty is yet another manifestation of a narcissist’s need to self-protect so they never have to feel bad about themselves or have their weaknesses exposed. Watch until the end to find out what you should do when you’re not sure if a person can really be trusted.
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Dr. Hawkins and his team of experts offer education and professional training as well as treatment for narcissistic and emotional abuse.
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About
The internet is inundated with hyperbole and misinformation about narcissism, leaving many people confused and hopeless. Get the facts about narcissism and emotional abuse from someone who has been researching, writing about and treating narcissism and emotional abuse for over a decade.
Dr. Hawkins is a best-selling author and clinical psychologist with over three decades of experience helping people break unhealthy patterns and build healthier relationships. He is the founder and director of the Marriage Recovery Center and the Emotional Abuse Institute which offers education, training and counseling for people who want to break free of, and heal from, emotional abuse.
Whether the perpetrator of the abuse is your spouse, partner, parent, boss, friend or family member, we offer practical advice for anyone trapped in a toxic, destructive relationship. In addition to narcissism & emotional abuse, topics include covert, reactive, spiritual, secondary, relationship trauma and more.
#narcissism #narcissistic #narcissist
So…if we can't trust them 100% of the time, AND we need to be able to trust someone 100% of the time to be in a healthy relationship, then how can you expect anyone to stay in a relationship with a narcissist (which is the premise of your platform)? If you are asking someone to stay in the relationship to help them heal, you are asking that person to sacrifice their own mental and emotional health for the sake of the narcissist.
I have had the experience of 3 times of these narcissists in a close relationship actually trusting me because they all stated that they trust me because I am too stupid to be underhanded and too innocent. This helped me as they trusted me when I required them to sign legal documents. How lucky I was.
Thank you Dr. You are the first Doctor who is compassionate towards my kind of people. It gives me hope and encouragement to push myself again on my hard climb.
I'm listening and I am going to acknowledge that you can't be fully
Trusted. I will:
1. test
2. verify
3. confront
4. hold accountable
If you choose you can give an opportunity for future change and growth
What does that mean?
That means I can say to this person. If you want to be a trusted partner of mine in the future here's:
What you can do (Fill in the Blank)
Here's what you will do (Fill in the Blank)
How do we test this will happen? (Fill in the Blank)
When do we verify (Fill in the Blank)
When do we confront together (Fill in the Blank)
How do we hold accountable to offer future opportunities for change and growth.
Naturally we can’t believe them. Many people who are deceived by them didn’t know they were narcissists to begin with and narcissist are champions to make people trust them in the beginning they will do all what you want in the beginning and insist that you should trust them some even get angry when you doubt them but if you trust them too much they will throw you under the bus and later put the blame on you because you were too « difficult » to deal with
Can you believe… that shirt?
Because no matter what the traitors say and lie about they are just in stalking game mode abusing their victims while they human traffic other’s for their energy and gifts
They are lying their assess off to keep
Their war crimes and human trafficking rings running
Confronting and holding a narcissist accountable does not work at all. All it does it put them in to a deeper defensive stance which will lead to them going on the offensive. Ultimatums are offensive to a narcissist. In their mind, they are the arbiter of limits and boundaries, not you. What you want, expect and need are the least important thing to them. You are nothing more than a tool to supply their needs. The real answer to why you can't trust a narcissist is because they don't have the ability to trust you. And since they can't trust you, they have every reason to be untrustworthy. They think that you're up to something all the time, therefore, it gives them justification to always be scheming something behind your back. In their mind, you are up to something or you are going to do something to them and so they have to protect themselves. That may mean slowly moving money in bank accounts. That may mean destroying your reputation so that when this is over, you are seen as the monster. or it may mean them locking you out of the house for some imagined threat.
Educate yourselves and then educate others.
In my 20+ year relationship with my husband, a Malignant Narcissist, I found him to use a statement often, which I now realize was a 'tell'. It was "when have I ever"? When have I ever lied to you? When have I ever used you? When have I ever not been there for you? When have I ever been unfaithful? When have I ever played games with our money? In his mind, he never lied, used, abandoned, etc. I found that he was constantly lying, even for minuscule things and things that did not rise to a level to justify in any capacity any lying. He was constantly deluding himself and taking me 'around the mulberry bush' in an effort to avoid being responsible and honest. And to distort reality. Make me question my gut instincts and his actual behavior. It was like a house of cards. I started saying to him that he "was not the man I thought I had married". I said that because I could not ever find a time when he was actually 100% truthful and honest. He lacked integrity. I gave him every opportunity to right his ways and learn new ways of being. Given the opportunity to become trustworthy, his behavior said, "no way" and it even got more unreliable and distorted the more the stakes were raised by my filing for divorce and an Order For Protection. Thank you Dr. Hawkins for telling me that I had reached a valid conclusion that he was not reliable and in turn a poor marital partner. Looking back, I should have left the marriage a long time before that, given the patterns of behavior based upon lies, deception and untrustworthiness.
So my spouse is a NP. I find myself 95% of the time truly honest, but when I get backed into a corner by my NP spouse I will lie to protect myself. So this makes me feel bad but justified. This only happens when it is crazy making time which is a regular pattern. Exhausting to live like this……
Confront the narcissist? Not a good idea if still living in the same house. Will basically start a war/battle. Doesn’t work. (21+ years of experience)
Dr. Hawkins you are a very good man believes he's doing the right thing
In most cases you are
But until psychology understand that a lot of the crap that they have come up with is total garbage
You cannot fight evil with psychology
It is negative energy that moves around its own will
Breaking the boundaries of the law of the Elohim is what opens the door
There's only one truth in this life sir
There can't be a bunch of them
Psychology has a place but evil puts leaven in everything it can.
Psychology and drugs cannot help people win evil has taken them over
I told you earlier I made it all the way back and then some and now I'm way bigger better and better and stronger than ever and that don't happen in psychology
That happens with positive energy from on high
I would love for you to stick a bunch of nerves just in front of me and I'll show you exactly how I would deal with them and I guarantee you they will comply.
They will have zero choice
In the matter
Call me crazy make a show for me just get me in front of that and I'll show you how it works
Then you'll see the truth
You are too good a man and I desire you to see the real light
And then you will see successes like you've never seen in your life
Cuz they're full of evil sir
This is what The Spirit told me. Thank you for the affirmation. It's very healing and therapeutic. 🙏
Confronting leads to gaslighting, shaming, confusion, deflection, and hell.
They know if you are honest…They hate honest people.
I would say…Trust Nothing they say. They gaslight, they fool people, they intend to fool people. They contradict themselves. They lie to themselves. The Coverts have a different lying rat game with each person they know. She would ask me to do something for her. I would do it. She would run to another Toxic person she knows and tell them, that I begged her to let me do it….and she let me do it, just to be nice to me. So doing good hard work FOR HER….She takes the credit for it, and says "She was just being nice to me". No credit for anything you do good at all. They MUST DEGRADE YOU…in one way or another.
Yes. Looking to be vulnerable. Powerful words.
Words are easy. Actions are hard because actions come out of beliefs. So how they act is who they really are.
I can trust Jesus 100 💯 percent and I won’t trust another man again 😊
Would you please share how to help someone break free from the bondage of self-deception?