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Episode 9 – Mad.In.Love podcast
Are you in a relationship in which you feel unseen, unheard, like you don’t matter at all? And yes, it can absolutely be the man that feels this way! A common theme we see in all victims of emotional abuse is that they feel invisible. Over time, they lose their sense of identity and even forget who they are, what they believe and what matters to them. Anyone who is or has been in an emotionally abusive relationship knows exactly what we’re talking about. Join Dr. Hawkins and his colleagues Dr. Hunt and Sharmen Kimbrough as they discuss what it means to feel invisible in a relationship. Find out what it looks like to finally come out of hiding, reclaim your identity and your voice, and start showing up well to whatever situation you are currently in.
Mad.In.Love Podcast Episode 9
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Dr. Hawkins and his team of experts offer education and professional training as well as treatment for narcissistic and emotional abuse.
🌐 WEBSITE: https://marriagerecoverycenter.com/
☎️ PHONE: (206) 219-0145
📧 EMAIL: info@marriagerecoverycenter.com
About
The internet is inundated with hyperbole and misinformation about narcissism, leaving many people confused and hopeless. Get the facts about narcissism and emotional abuse from someone who has been researching, writing about and treating narcissism and emotional abuse for over a decade.
Dr. Hawkins is a best-selling author and clinical psychologist with over three decades of experience helping people break unhealthy patterns and build healthier relationships. He is the founder and director of the Marriage Recovery Center and the Emotional Abuse Institute which offers education, training and counseling for people who want to break free of, and heal from, emotional abuse.
Whether the perpetrator of the abuse is your spouse, partner, parent, boss, friend or family member, we offer practical advice for anyone trapped in a toxic, destructive relationship. In addition to narcissism & emotional abuse, topics include covert, reactive, spiritual, secondary, relationship trauma and more.
#emotionalabuse #identity #personality
Doesn't. Matter. The end result is the same!
Yes he tries to and Im
Pretty sure you are trying to-come on! It's a means to an end they absolutely know
Then you can only imagine the damage and impact it has on a partner that lives that day in and day out. 😞
I disagree about MODERN Christian teaching on marriage. Yes it used to be submit. It was awful. But in my old church I was taught a woman is it RESPECT her husband (I do think this is import for men’. bUt only as a Man is to LOVE is wife unconditionally like Christ loved the Church. It doesn’t sound like he is filling his end of the bargain so you are off the too until both parties can do that
I feel ashamed and very saddened Im in a marriage like this. I just wanted someone to do life with. Im now separated from that clown..sad. Im so frustrated.
Amen! How else could we survive, had we not been invisible? That’s what it is. I finally realized it her finally put a name on it. I’ve been 55:19 married 45 years and separated three years now. I recognized narcissism.
Thanks to Dr. Ramani. It’s been very painful for me. I have a son three granddaughters daughter-in-law, my love very very much. And this is a shock to him and everyone else because I never let him know what was going on. I am ready to start my new life, which in essence I have started already.
But I’m at the point where there is no return. I have suffered much because my heart breaks terribly to think that I waited so long, and I still feel sad for the narcissist. However now I’ve started to think about myself and what I have left since I am my two time cancer survivor, non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma.
So whatever time is left from today on is mine and I don’t want to look back because I’m not going there. Thank You all for your perspectives they’re all good. Very good perspectives. You never know what people are going through unless we explore everything. This is the first time I hear about being invisible about sacrificing, everything for everyone always as a woman. That was taught in my family I did that I still do. I am an empath true however, I easily do things for people give it all without thinking about myself once. I am learning and starting this new life, I am going to enjoy myself which I have started already and do the things that I love.
Thank you all I love you all great program
Sue
it can and can also cause dissociative disorders.
What if, the way you choose to be heard is done by cheating? And now your abuser wants to do what you’ve been asking for? What if you try to give that chance but no longer want it?
It would be lovely if religion didn't have to be brought into these videos everytime Ms. Kimbrough appears. She is like a heavily scratched LP that keeps getting stuck on the same loop of religion in every video she appears in, and its tiring, yet I also can see that she has valid & useful information to provide. I can only imagine what it must be like for people of other faiths or other beliefs who don't believe females are inferior to their husband.
There is both good and not so good information in this video. The not so good, Dr. Hawkins seems to display all-or-nothing thinking patterns suggesting that "all" abusers are **not aware of what they are doing. That is such an inaccurate assumption, and it's based (seeminly, if we are to believe him?) solely on his experience of the male abusers he has encountered (when most never set foot in a therapists office). Thank goodness the professional in the center quickly lays waste to that inaccurate assumption, with polite certainty. smh She is correct in saying some abusers do knows and some lack the self-awareness as Dr. Hawkins suggests. Then we have the religious coach who is overly-focused on that, not just in this video but in multiple videos in which she appears.
I'm not sure what the purpose of this video was here? Was the topic not about losing one's identity in an abusive relationship? Where was this thoroughly discussed in this video?
Ordinarily, I do not feel confusion after watching videos on narcissistic abuse, and I've watched hundreds from multiple clinicians over the last 9+ years.
Excellent discussion. Thank you.
50:47 He/the marriage was my "love source", which i feel i need because of not wanting to be alone in this life. The longing to have a man be enduring, wanting me for me…. a friend who just wants to be with my personality.
34:23 Yes…my ID is gone. All my complaints in my head are wrapped up in all that he has done and that i am affected. Since we are told one flesh, husband is the head, and i have a servants heart (now also know i am a codependent). Like you said, i feel if he got help, and myself, we would be good. But he doesnt believe he has any issues or problems. He believes i am the one with the issues.
I have asked myself. What do i want for me? What do i want to do with my life?
And i still dont know what i wish, want, and desire.
I do know that i do not want this man the way he is. How do i figure out my other questions?
We have a great time sometimes. Our sex life has been very nice. As long as I keep my feelings to myself. It’s when we argue. But the argument always starts because I stand up for myself and tell him some feeling and he instantly tries to suppress it or oppress it. If I bring up that he snapped at me he will say I heard it wrong and then I say no you did say it in this way and he will say you are always living in your past and I will say no and. On and on. Same argument every time. It seems to cause him physical pain to try to process emotions. Or empathize. I want to leave. I can’t handle it I feel so broken.
The abuser’s goal is to annihilate her identity as an individual..of course she is struggling with a loss of identity.. she isn’t hiding..she is Under ATTACK..Professionals have to STOP PROVIDING COVER and Model the appropriate behavior like Dr. Hunt.. kudos to her … these programs often are illustrating the confusion among therapists and the potential additive damage that can result in counseling environments that support the same toxic dynamics that have weakened her at home ( if only she would ‘ take back her power ‘ from an oppressor !!! Etc etc
Whether he acts this way with other women or not.. he is PAYING the therapist.. and she is an authority figure .. BE REAL PEOPLE
I'm leaving at 8 minutes I am so traumatized by my soon to be ex wife and I can't handle the sexism in this conversation.. I was love bombed and didn't even know what the heck was going on till I started watching video's on yt about narcissism and it has saved my sanity.
I always told her "you are against people having feelings" and things like that. And she would flip everything I said around to where I couldn't even get around to my motive and what I was even trying to say. It was a manipulative game she played that kept me in total confusion. I'm glad the marriage only lasted 4 years and only 2 living together. I could go on and on she even grabbed my by the shirt getting physical! I never even hinted at doing that with her and I am 6'2 and work out. But I was pulled through hell with this person.
And everytime you good folks talk about "him" and "he" doing the abuse I can't watch it. Why do you do that? Serious question..?
It’s intentional in that what is really going on: They are grooming you to continually cave in to their wants!!
52:11 the paralysis disallows her from hearing her own pain